Signature Cellar

“Love is an infectious feeling”

Relations that arose in our childhood determine our behavior in love. But in life there is nothing given

once and for all: you can learn to love otherwise at any age.

The French psychiatrist Boris Barunik thinks about what love is and what it happens.

Psychologies: to love, to be loved – why is it so difficult to find balance?
Boris Barunik: Because the balance is impossible! In love life, the only possible balance is routine, the death of feelings. In love, as in all other human affection, two living people are found. Since each of them develops in their own way-both in itself and within a pair-balance can only be temporary. Moreover, life itself is constantly changing – in a biological, sensual and social plan.

“Love, be loved” – is this formula correct? It cannot be once and for all the specified ratio: one “or” to give “or” to receive. It is better that there is one “and”, alternately, differently at different points, with different intensity.

Когда два влюбленных человека разговаривают, смотрят друг на друга, прикасаются друг к другу, они аффективно взаимодействуют. From this mutual influence, a new world arises: the worlds of a man and a woman, having connected, create a third world that exists between them and at the same time surpasses them.

And this is true not only for lovers. A similar space arises with any emotional connection: between mother and child, between friends, colleagues. Two creatures create a special world by the fact that they are together.

And how exactly is the love connection differ from everyone else?

The feeling of love replenishes me in the narcissistic sense: I am filled with a performance that I made up about another person, I am filled with my need for it. This very personal idea can sometimes have nothing to do with reality.

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